Marriage in Honor: Four Ways ALL (singles and couples) Can Honor Marriage
Dr. John Carmichael
“Marriage is to be held in honor among all…” — Hebrews 13:4
There are few institutions in human history that have been as universally recognized, yet as increasingly misunderstood, as marriage. In a world where definitions shift and commitments weaken, the writer of Hebrews gives a timeless, Spirit-inspired command: marriage is to be held in honor among all.
That phrase is not merely descriptive. It is directive. It is not suggesting that marriage is honorable (though it certainly is); it is commanding that marriage must be treated as honorable. In other words, the sacredness of marriage is not just inherent. Marriage must be actively preserved, protected, and practiced.
This verse calls us to recover a high view of marriage. Not a cultural view. Not a convenient view. But a biblical, covenantal, sacred view.
Marriage: God’s First Institution
Before there was a church… before there was government… before there were nations… there was a marriage.
In Genesis 2, Yahweh creates Adam, forms Eve, and establishes the first covenant union between a man and a woman. Marriage is not a human invention. Marriage is a divine institution. It is the very first structure God put in place for humanity.
That means something profound:
Marriage is not optional to God’s design. It is foundational.
Marriage is not casual. It is covenantal.
Marriage is not merely relational. It is spiritual.
Even more, when Jesus began His earthly ministry, His first miracle was not in a synagogue or a temple, but at a wedding in Cana (John 2). That is not accidental. It is intentional. Christ’s first public act of glory was to affirm, bless, and elevate marriage.
From Genesis to the Gospels to Hebrews, Scripture consistently presents marriage as sacred.
And yet, if we’re honest, many people, even believers, treat it as common.
So the question becomes: How do we actually honor marriage?
Let’s walk through four powerful, practical ways.
1. We Honor Marriage by Preparing Ourselves for It
Before you ever say, “I do,” you should be asking, “Who am I becoming?”
One of the greatest mistakes people make is focusing more on finding the right person than becoming the right person.
Marriage doesn’t fix brokenness. Marriage exposes it.
Marriage doesn’t create character. Marriage reveals it.
If marriage is sacred, then entering into it unprepared is dishonoring it.
The call is simple but challenging: Become someone worth marrying.
That means:
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Developing spiritual maturity
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Learning emotional health
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Building financial responsibility
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Practicing selflessness
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Growing in your walk with Christ
Too many people are looking for a godly spouse while neglecting to become one.
A helpful resource here is Sacred Search by Gary Thomas, which reframes the question from “Who will make me happy?” to “Who will help me become more like Christ?”
That shift is everything.
Because marriage is not primarily about happiness, it is about holiness.
When you prepare yourself spiritually, emotionally, and practically, you are already honoring the sacredness of marriage before it even begins.
2. We Honor Marriage by Marrying Correctly
Not every relationship is meant to become a marriage.
And not every love is a God-approved love.
Scripture is clear: “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14).
This is not about superiority. It is about alignment.
A yoke joins two lives together. If those lives are moving in different directions (spiritually, morally, or missionally), the result is strain, frustration, and ultimately, damage.
To honor marriage, we must enter into it God’s way.
That means:
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Marrying someone who shares your faith
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Aligning in values, vision, and calling
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Seeking God’s guidance, not just an emotional connection
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Refusing to compromise spiritual conviction for romantic desire
Culture says, “Follow your heart.”
Scripture says, “Guard your heart” (Proverbs 4:23).
There is a difference.
When you marry correctly, you are not just choosing a partner, you are establishing a covenant that reflects Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:25–32).
That kind of marriage doesn’t happen by accident. It happens by obedience.
3. We Honor Marriage by Giving It Our Best
Marriage is not something you fit into your life.
Marriage is something you build your life around.
If marriage is sacred, then it deserves your highest level of intentionality, investment, and effort.
Too often, couples give their best energy to:
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Careers
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Hobbies
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Social media
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Ministry
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Friendships
And then give their marriage whatever is left.
That is not honor. That is neglect.
To honor marriage means:
Giving it your best resources
Your financial decisions should reflect your commitment to your marriage, not compete with it.
Giving it your best time
Quality time is not accidental; it is scheduled, protected, and prioritized.
Giving it your best thoughts
What you think about your spouse shapes how you treat them. Honor begins in the mind.
Giving it your best affection
Kindness, encouragement, intimacy, and communication are not luxuries, they are necessities.
Giving it your best effort
A great marriage is not found. A great marriage is forged.
Marriage is not sustained by feelings.
It is sustained by commitment.
And commitment is proven through consistency.
If we truly believe marriage is sacred, then we must treat it as such, not just in words, but in daily practice.
4. We Honor Marriage by Investing in Other Marriages
Marriage is not just personal. Marriage is communal.
When Hebrews says marriage is to be honored “among all,” it implies a shared responsibility. We are not only called to honor our own marriage. We are called to honor the institution of marriage in the lives of others.
That means:
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Encouraging other couples
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Mentoring younger marriages
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Speaking life, not criticism
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Praying for struggling relationships
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Modeling healthy, godly marriage
A culture of strong marriages does not happen individually; it happens collectively.
Your marriage should not just survive. It should serve as a testimony.
There are couples watching you.
Learning from you.
Being strengthened or discouraged by what they see.
When you invest in others, you multiply honor.
A Helpful Resource on Honoring Marriage
If you want to go deeper into the biblical vision of marriage, Held in Honor by Robert L. Plummer offers a rich theological and practical framework for understanding why marriage matters and how it reflects God’s design.
It’s a powerful reminder that honoring marriage is not just a personal decision, but a theological conviction.
Why This Matters Now More Than Ever
We are living in a time where marriage is:
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Redefined
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Devalued
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Delayed
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Abandoned
And in some cases, openly rejected.
That is exactly why Hebrews 13:4 is so urgent.
The call to honor marriage is not easier in this generation, but it is more necessary.
Because when marriage is weakened:
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Families fracture
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Children suffer
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Communities destabilize
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Spiritual formation is hindered
But when marriage is honored:
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Stability increases
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Faith is transmitted
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Love is modeled
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God is glorified
Marriage is not just about two people, but it is about God’s design for humanity.
A Final Word: Marriage Reflects the Gospel
At its deepest level, marriage is not just about companionship. Marriage is also about representation.
Ephesians 5 tells us that marriage reflects Christ and His Church.
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Christ loves sacrificially
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The Church responds faithfully
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The covenant is unbreakable
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The love is enduring
When we honor marriage, we are not just honoring an institution. We are revealing the Gospel.
That means your marriage is more than a relationship.
It is a witness.
Conclusion
“Marriage is to be held in honor among all…”
That is not just a verse to quote; it is standard to live by.
We honor marriage when we:
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Prepare ourselves for it
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Marry correctly
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Give it our best
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Invest in others
This is how we recover the sacred.
This is how we stand against cultural erosion.
This is how we build something that lasts not just for a lifetime, but for generations.
And ultimately, this is how we reflect the heart of God.
If marriage is sacred, and it is, then let’s treat it that way.
Not casually.
Not occasionally.
But intentionally, consistently, and honorably.
Because what we honor, we preserve.
